Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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