Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
