I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
