I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
