After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
