I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
