Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
