I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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