life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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