she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
