no, he came in my armpit
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
