Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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