you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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