It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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