Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
