did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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