Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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