he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
