Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
