I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
