Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize