ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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