hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
