casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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