it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
