Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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