i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
