i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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