dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
