So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
