i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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