I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
