I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
