I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
