I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
