He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
