Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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