Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
