check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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