Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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