He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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