The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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