I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
