Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
