Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
