Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think your dad took our porno
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
