My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize