just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have post one night stand depression
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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