my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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