anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
