Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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