If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
