the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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