But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
