saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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