So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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