Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
