and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
