He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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