She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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