I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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